Thursday, 2 September 2010

Mr William is cruising?

Transporting Thursday to you all!
I, William Peeps, writer of this parish, being of sound mind, contrary to scurrilous rumours, mostly put around maliciously by medical experts(What do they know? and yes, I will get to the end of this sentence eventually!), am considering trusting my person once more to a large tin can on the high seas. In other words, this time in fewer syllables, I am thinking about a cruise round the Med!
Well, my life is cruising now like a dove in flight until I go to be with my maker, unless of course, Stephen 'my electronic voice makes my every word sound momentous' Hawking
 is right and there is no God. Well, he can hypothesize all he likes, but he admits himself that you cannot prove the cause of a one-off event like the Big Bang, and anyway, he wasn't there- so it's just his opinion against mine, and who are you going to believe, a renowned professor of astrophysics etc or a crazy ol' blogger? Well, I know what my answer would be!
Anyway, believe it or not, I digress. It was that thing in the press about the Foreign Secretary, Hague 'cruisin' for a bruisin'' politically, that put me in mind of previous cruises I took. Mr Hague was vague about his adventures, but mine stick in my mind to this day. The first time, I went with my dear wife, when she was a wheelchair user. The only problem was the day, I pushed her around in the chair and we did a little tour of the ship. Unfortunately, a large metal door locked behind us and no-one was to be seen.
 I don't know whether we were on the poop-deck or the foc'sel or whatever they call them, but words like poop and foc did come to mind. Eventually a bemused passing engineer released us. His english wasn't great but I am sure he mentioned something about dozy ol' codgers, but the wind carried his words away, thankfully; and no, the wind was nothing to do with yours truly!
After my dear wife went to be with our God, I went on another cruise, by myself, and yes, I did feel just like Leslie Phillips in 'Carry on Cruising'! I went round saying 'Helloooo!' to all the ladies, in the hope that one fish might bite, but all I got was a couple of dances with the 'dancing hostess' and a couple of knockbacks, when I offered to show a few lucky candidates the inside of the lifeboats. It's only women and children first, when they launch them! In the war, the military police always guarded the lifeboats in case some frisky serviceman would bring a local girl back for afters!
Maybe, I'll knock the idea on the head. I nearly didn't make it to the last cruise. I set the alarm clock for 3am., to give me my usual 4 hours for my ablutions; I had to go at 7am and the taxi was ordered. I decided to sit up all night, fully dressed, in case I was late. Well, whatever happened, I fell asleep on the armchair and only woke up when the taxi guy rang the bell!
No, I couldn't go through all that again. I think I will just stay on terra cotta and do a little nostalgic trip back to the town of my birth. I will go with my family, because at the end of the day, family is everything!
Did you see that statistic that parents now only spend on average 19 minutes a day with their children? This makes me angry. Children are not just a commodity or a nuisance type duty- they are our glory and our legacy. We should invest all of ourselves in them. Please tell me what you think?
Anyway, off now to buy Tony Blair's diatribe and non 'mea culpa' book. He needs the money? Hardly! I feel he wants us to understand him. Well, that would be much easier, if I could trust a word of anything he says!
Yours frankly yet cruising calmly

The blogging Gogfather

1 comment:

  1. Comment please or I might go on strike. What do you mean, you wouldn't notice? Charming!