Wednesday, 22 December 2010

Mr William has real 'Presents'!

Description unavailableImage by Gattou/Lucie/so far behind.. Sorry :( via FlickrGood Morrow, dear Reader,
I hope you are keeping warm and are not stuck somewhere, trying to get from A to B via C and gettin' nowhere fast! Happy 'Shortest Day-Winter Solstice' and it coincides with a 'lunar' eclipse. I feel this explains a lot about why I am so harrassed and at the end of my tether. I hate the cold, the slippery ice and the urgent need to get pressies and stuff for Crimbo
in the middle of it.
Basically, I'm worried about slipping on my ass or crashing the 'peepmobile' into a lamp-post. I keep reminding myself, though, that the past is history, the future is an unknown country and the 'present' is God's 'gift' to humanity and we have to live each day to the full. Just remember for a moment the dying children with life-limiting illnesses going out to Lapland, so that they can have a little magic to recall, before their short lives come to an end. Alternatively, there are all the older folk and those in dire need or illness, who wonder what 2011 will bring.

Nevertheless, I now have an extreme form of 'Present' mania. Yes, I need to get pressies, but the car skidded on the driveway and I am housebound. A curtain-twitching neighbour saw me sliding down the road and came to my rescue, but now I'm literally stuck!
You see, I bought rather impulsively, like plastic ducks for a teenage boy and a set of pearls and a 'twin set' for a 7 year old. Originally, I said I would send cash and now there are all muttering about having had their eye on stuff.  Now, I have to brave the elements and complete the job. I'll get my daughter to wrap the bally things. It'll give her something to keep her mind off living with that husband of hers for half an hour.

So, I decided to erect my Crimbo tree; it may be artificial, but it's multi-coloured and beautifully formed-just like myself. What with my white hair, red jumper and jaunty demeanour, people often mistake me for Saint Nick himself (Not Old Nick, as some of you might think!) At least the heating oil guy delivered in time. It costs a bloomin' fortune, but I won't freeze my assets off, or to be more scientific, die off of hypothermia!

Some people might think I'm 'Scrooge' incarnate, but I'll have you know that we 'gogs' ( grumpy ol' gits) have a soft side. I allowed the daughter and son-in-law the privilege of taking me to the 'Carol' Service. It makes them feel good! We sat in a pew and no-one sat beside me. Maybe they thought I really am Santa Claus and didn't want to presume upon me, or maybe they were aware of my reputation with the ladies and didn't want to risk my charming charisma and chat-up lines, in full view of the vicar. Perhaps they saw the mistletoe peeping out of my trouser-pocket?

It was the old '9 Lessons and Carols'. I had forgotten my hearing aid again and could only hear the high notes and the vowels. Very bizarre! They had mince pies after. What is it with mince pies at Christmas? I just wanted to get my 'mince-pies' fixed on my tele, with my posterior on my sofa!
Anyway, Happy Christmas to you all and, as Dicken's 'Tiny Tim' might have said, 'Gawd bless us each and and every one!' I'm off now to see what's on tv while my daughter wraps the pressies for the family and the 'orphans of the parish'.

Yours festively and always with my jingle bells ringing,

The Blogging Gogfather

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