Thursday, 21 October 2010

Mr William is seeing things through rose-tinted lenses?

Tremulous Thursday to you, dear reader,
 I take it you have been keeping up with the financial meltdown in the UK news. In case you haven't, well, I'll explain it to you. You see, loads of greedy rich people around the world went back to the ol' feeding trough once too often, aided and abetted by mad,bad bankers and now governments are making the poor and vulnerable even more poor and vulnerable. If you think that is too simplistic, then watch this space, I do a good line in simplistic-thing is, I think I am seeing things clearly and not through rose-tinted lenses. You see, I reckon that the wolf is at the door for the less fortunate in society, while the rich are still wheeling their ill-gotten gains to the compliant arms of the bankers.

Rant over for today. Talking about lenses, I love photography and seeing beautiful things. The unfortunate misunderstanding at the duck pond has taught me to be circumcised, though. You recall perhaps that I was attempting to get a shot of a fine pair of great tits( now that's all in your mind. I'm taking about a mating pair of crested birds--I give up-this is innuendo city, no matter what I say) and suddenly a young lady passed by and spotted me behind the bushes. She assumed, for some strange reason that I had designs on her form and decided to launch at me with her umbrella and words I have never seen in the bible! Had to show her my polaroids to establish my credentials as a twitcher. (Again any double entendre in your own head!)

Talking about words in the Bible, did I tell you about my other unfortunate incident, when I had to read out a verse at a church meeting recently. The vicar asked us all to prepare to read one verse each in turn. I was so nervous I put my perspiring thumb over the appropriate passage, in case I would fluff it at the crucial moment. Imagine my horror when it came to my turn and I lifted my thumb to find I had obliterated the verse. Everyone laughed at my antics. It broke the tension, but the rev. got me nervous by quoting some verse about the dangers of any unwary soul who would try to delete Holy Scripture. Everyone fell in to fits of laughter again, but I spent the rest of the day watching over my shoulder for thunderbolts!

Anyway, I love cameras, but I keep losing them. Went to a wedding in Morocco and lost my camera. I often have this vision of a bedouin on a camel looking at my family jewels, as I call my photos, and wondering who all those strange pasty face people are. What he makes of the 'great tits', I can't imagine! Then there was the camera I blew up in Geneva. I was charging up the batteries, but got mixed up with the voltage and ended up with a knackered camera and the batteries were last sighted by a skier over Mont Blanc!

You see, the thing is, I lose things and then find them under my nose. My son-in-law (You know, the smart alec who says this diary would flop without his so-called 'input'?) he says that I panic when I think I have lost something important. He may be a pain in the butt, but he has a point. I tend to send out a search party to Bulawayo and other foreign parts and then start working my way back to base, where, of course, the item has been all the while. My housekeeper is the one who normally finds the bally things. She comes in, I give her a typed list of the things I have mislaid and 5 minutes later she hands them to me, with the list neatly ticked off--then she proceeds to tick me off for worrying unnecessarily. If only it was that easy.

Well, I can't sit around scribbling any more, 'cos the sun has come out and I have put on my rose-tinted specs and intend going to the duck-pond to take some classy shots of some delightful birds. Thing that is holding me back, is that I can't find the bloomin' camera. Have you any idea where it is? Should I put out an APB via the FBI? Wish me luck!
Yours focused but a little lost

The blogging Gogfather

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