Friday, 30 July 2010

Mr William for next James Bond?

Fabulous Friday to you all!
I have been thinking again-yes, I know it's risky, but I have a lot of time on my hands, and being an octogenarian, I can't go wasting precious time. I saw this impression Fleming had done of how he envisaged his hero and it is obviously me to a tee! Sean Connery had a good stab at it-pun intended-, but I feel I am his ideal. Maybe, he saw me in the street one day, when I used to live in London and I inspired him. Well, I can't know for sure, but there is no time like the present to stake my claim.

 I'll let young Daniel have a couple more outings and then I'll show them how it was always meant to be. When I finish here, I will get the letter off to Cubby Beetroot's daughter, Babs (or is Broccoli? One of those veggies I don't like, anyway). A recent photo and my CV should seal the deal. I should also put in that audio tape of me doing my Leslie Philips' 'Well, hellooo!' impression.
What are my qualifications? Well, you surely will know by now what a hit I am with the ladies. They virtually faint in my presence- reminds me, my housekeeper says I should wear less aftershave. She says it is a little overpowering. I'm sure it's just my animal magnetism! The brand, it's 'Midnight in Paris' by Sarkozy. Well, look where it got him, the French presidency and Carla Bruni.
Any way, you ask if I am physically up to it? Well, that's the other reason I've taken up Lord Coe's challenge to get ready for the 2012 Olympics. Today, my regime will include mountaineering(climbing the stairs to the loo), yomping(taking my lunch tray into the kitchen) and synchronised weighlifting(raising the newspaper above my head with both hands). You may chuckle,... please , but Sean Connery started out as a milkman, but , like me, they saw he could really deliver! Boom, boom.
My first secret mission could be to nip over to China, under cover as a silly ol' git-did I mention my great acting skills? I once played the lead in Lassie! Yes, so I'm in China, and to promote corrupt Western capitalism, I will install a google app in every Chinese home. (Bit of satire for you there) That should keep me busy for a week or two!
Some of you might still have your reservations( Lucky you, can I come to? Is it dinner, the theatre, as long as it's not Andrew LLoyd Webber stuff?But I digress) about my age? Well, like a fine wine, I am expensive, classy, great body and maturing beautifully. Also, they say you are as old as the woman you feel. Well, the trouble for me is they run too fast, but I have my eye on Kylie Minogue and Lady Gaga! Wish me luck?
Any rate, got to run. That letter to Barbara Beanstalk won't write itself.
Yours debonairly yet deludedly

The blogging Gogfather

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