Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Mr William has a Sporting Chance

PeacockImage by Andrea Costa Photography via Flickr
Wonderful Wednesday to you all!
It's time to spread my wings and fly. Lord Seb Coe says we all have to get ready to play our part in the 2012 London Olympics. As you may know, I am 86 years young, but I've started weight-lifting the newspaper and curling my toes rapidly in my slippers. Got to start somewhere and the Brucie Forsythe dvt socks have been an inspiration!
Now that we are all taking staycations with the credit crunch, I might build up my fitness further by visiting Britain's first surfing musuem. As the weather is only clement enough two days a year, the museum will have few exhibits, but you've got to admire their British stiff upper lip! Staycations may become even more popular if the proposals go through for Euro police to monitor and pursue Britons abroad. I will leave that to your imagination, but Marbella might end up as a wasteland!
My only surfing recently has been here on thinternet, as they call it on Coronation Street. Apparently providers say they will give you a Ferrari speed and you get bike speed. My armchair goes faster than mine! Although my online food shopping arrives before I order it. Now that's service! I started to order on tinternet after I got into an almighty row with the new DIY check out at the supermarket. It started shouting at me that I had left an unusual item in the bagging area. Well, I had to have somewhere to put my walking stick! Wonder whether I can still bog-off, I mean 'buy one, get one free' with online. I have bought the oddest things just because they were on offer. Anybody know someone who wants 'TenaLady' in bulk?
I was always sporty, rugby and that. The ladies could always spot that I was fit and had a jaunty air. That could be handy, as Cameron Diaz says that relationships should have a 5 year sell by date, I must put in a bid for her affections when she next comes up for renewal! Surely I have a sporting chance?
One risk I won't be taking again is telling someone when they have had too much to drink. A survey says you should, but are they offering to pay your medical bills?
One sporting guy is Jim 'Look at what you could have won' Bowen. Like me , he likes a bit of bully, whatever that is. As he says himself, he is a cult and a leg-end , sorry legend in his own lunchtime!
One guy you wouldn't have given a sporting chance to is the lame duck ex-chief of BP- the Boy 'with the Black Stuff'! Instead of the push, he nets a plum role on the board of TNK-BP. He comes up smelling of roses-unlike the Gulf!
One very unsporting guy is the embezzler , Bernie Madoff, currently serving a 150 year sentence in a North Carolina Jail. Investors are still arguing over their money. I think I would have been suspicious of even giving the time of day to a guy, whose name hints at a little lunacy, or more to the point a tendency to run off with your dosh- he certainly made off with their goodies!
After I heard that 1 in 36 £1 coins is counterfeit, I almost had a wikileak. It's not only the MOD who are worried about those. I have been worrying about leaks for years, but like BP , I think I've got it capped for the moment! Anyway, got to run--need to get rid of my £1 coins. First I'll just nip to the loo!

Yours urgently yet sportily,

The blogging Gogfather

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