Sunday, 8 August 2010
Monsieur William goes on Holiday
Yes, it's that time of year again, when we all get out the old sombrero and bucket and spade for the seaside, UK weather permitting, and it often doesn't! Been thinking about travelling to foreign climes to ensure the sun and have scraped together the spondulicks, you know, the necessary wonga!(What would we do without slang? Probably understand each other better!)
Anyway, trouble is, I like a quiet holiday and everywhere I go, I meet crowds of people from these islands, where peace and tranquillity is the last thing on the agenda!
In observing the British and Irish abroad, it is clear that we are not used to the sun. We go out whitey/pink and come back as lobsters via the foreign emergency room. Before 'elf 'n safety, we used to cook ourselves here when we could, even using butter and tin foil in some cases. Now lots of people spray on the tan, if they have been sensible enough to avoid the sunbeds. Let's face it, we don't do sun very well!
Something we do extra well is consuming vast quantities of alcohol in the shortest possible time and then we either sing, shout or fight! A recent beer ad claimed that 'lager had evolved' Maybe, but you can be sure that most of the drinkers of it haven't!
Finally, on this little rant, there is the totally impolite tendency to go abroad and expect everyone to speak our lingo. If they don't, we just talk louder! Then, we gravitate to restaurants that serve food from back home, always with chips, because we reckon that you can't trust the local delicacies. 'It's got tentacles and things', we say. Is it any wonder that the Eurocrats want the right to pursue us home to 'feel our collar'.
Now, for the purposes of brevity and humour, I have generalised greatly. Of course, there are exceptions. Yours truly is, naturally, highly cultured, and no doubt, dear reader, so are you. I am not trying to get at anyone, just trying to understand our psyche in these islands. Is it because we are islands at the extreme of Western Europe and the next land west is thousands of miles away? Answers on a postcard, please! Or below?
The other statistic that could be considered is that we have the highest rate of teenage pregnancy. There is lots about in the news. My simple view is that if children are routinely having sex before age 11, then there is something wrong in our culture. We don't just need more education, we need 'different education ' for our children. Have you seen how young people dress to socialise in Britain and Ireland, compared to Western Europe?
Anyway, one person who is working hard now, he says, is David Cameron. He and his Coalition are planning cuts, which will involve 'Pain and a Prize'. Yes, pain for the poor and a prize,as always for the rich! Looks like we are returning to the Thatcher,'Milk-Snatcher' era and we will all be milked dry, unless we are fat cats! They still get the cream!
Got to hand it to Cameron- he does work hard. With Pakistan, this month, he has insulted them, sent them aid, entertained their leader and played them at cricket. He tries to keep a straight bat, but he does bowl some googlies! Finally, on the cricketing analogy, Robbie Williams 'bowls a maiden over and shouts 'Take That' as he marries Ida Feel, sorry, Field.((Sorry couldn't resist it!)
So, must go and dig out the tin foil. I see a blink of sun!
Yours roastingly yet chilled
The blogging Gogfather