Monday, 9 August 2010
Mr William seeks Enlightenment
Confused today and need some light on a few subjects. I suppose it all comes down to health and longevity. As you know, I intend to jog up to the palace to collect my message from the Queen for having the audacity to survive 100 years on this spinning ball. If I go to her, it will save her having to remember my birthday and putting a stamp on the card. Let's face it, I am sure she is fed up of seeing the royal mush on stamps!
Anyway, you know that my recipe for long life is wine, women and song (Happily the asbo to stop my singing has still not been served!). Believe it or not, though, I do believe in moderation, although my tolerance levels can be a little elastic! I gave up smoking years ago, as my cough was beginning to get in the way of breathing. I see a top doc is saying today that parents who smoke in front of their children are guilty of child abuse. He might have a point. When I was young, we were turned into kippers by our family. The ceilings had to be repainted every 6 months and you could not see out the windows of buses for the thick cloud all round you--and that was just the school bus!
Mind you, despite the warnings you still see pregnant women smoking. They must be past caring about their brain cells, never mind the unborn child! Recently, I visited a friend in hospital and saw a number of patients on drips, dragging the equipment to the smoking room for a drag on a cig. Not a pretty sight! Believe me, I know how addictive tabacco is , but surely we all have to be responsible for our actions! Comment below?
As regards alcohol, well, I try to be moderate.Well, I'll put it this way, my doctor, Ida Hedu-Cation, did a health MOT check and asked about the fire-water consumption. I told her I have the occasional sweet sherry to toast the Queen's birthday, (Well, I have to keep her sweet for the old telegram). She raised her eyebrows in a quizzical manner and said she would put me down as a social drinker. Got off lightly there!
The big thing now is the 'Food Police'. I really do get it that we have to eat carefully and exercise. Why else do you think I jog down to the fast food emporium? Shock horror, though. Today, they tell me that Chinese takeaways typically have a wineglass-full of lard in them, plus the salt and sugar! I know some people eat until they are medically obese and there are psychological reasons for this. Also you have to factor in poor diets and social deprivation, but is a serious operation, like a gastric band the answer?
I just feel that moderation is no longer popular. Footballers used to play a game and then have fish and chips, followed by a couple of pints. They seemed pretty happy. Two final thoughts. Meat is about to be cloned. Maybe they could make it low fat and save us all the worry! Secondly, a designer is going to make clothes for sizes 14 and above. At least, he has seen the light. Clothes for real people!
Before I go, I hear that all sorts of official and unofficial items have been made for the pope's UK visit. Yes, Pope PR the Disaster is coming to town. Some eejit has come up with a souvenir. It's a plug-in for your PC and it claims that the The Virgin Mary will bless your computer's memory. Bonkers, isn't it?
Off now to cycle to the pizza house!
Yours quizzically yet enlightened
The blogging Gogfather